Battlestar Galactica 1×00 ‘Miniseries’ Impressions Pt. IV
Posted by melancholygeek on July 13, 2008
The Colonies are pretty much toast, the lady’s in charge, former-black-hunk-now-Asian-whiny-chick-Boomer’s stuck with refugees, old junkers rule and Adama and Tigh brace for contact.
The good news: Galactica’s still there! The bad news:
Talking about an uncontrolled lateral counterclockwise spin! Good thing we have Saul taking personal command of the D.C. units.
Erm, yes? OK, this is not looking good. Neither the ship nor the X.O. OK, someone’s rolling the hard six. Sorry Tyrol:
Caprica, Lottery. Old lady realizing at the last possible moment that she’s actually holding a scrap of paper. Baltar saves the day, but hasn’t done anything! Yeah, right. Glowy-spine snappy-neck ring a bell? Helo giving up his seat. He’s such a hero. Really, I think I have to trow up. Like hell. And I’m sparing you a ton of screencaps and snappy comments on what supposedly once wrote ‘actress’ on her resume to pull a prank on someone and ended up being Boomer on Battlestar Galactica. And red-eye Gaius starting to lose it. Can’t blame him though. And a kid’s taking the co-pilot seat? This can’t be good. And Helo? He is THE HERO:
*Cue Enrique Iglesias*
Colonial Heavy 798, Going to Case Orange. Secretary Roslin, or as her friends call her: ‘D’ as in Dog, dash, 4, 5, 6 dash, 3, 4, 5, dash, ‘A’ as in Apple. I mean, sorry, but, seriously: This one line has more Academy Award potential than most ‘acting’ efforts by certain other, um, people on this show so far, no? Not taking into account that MMD really has a pair of killer legs there:
Asshollo, well, is there. We need a priest. Secretary Laura Roslin shall henceforth be known as… Da Prez! \o/ Bad Suit Guy? Not amused:
Galactica, 26 walked out, 85 didn’t. Off to Ragnar Anchorage, them pilots need something to shoot with! Tyrol calling the X.O. a bunghole. 40 seconds. What now? If we’re off by our calculations by even a few degrees we could end up in the middle of a sun. It’s been what, 20, 22 years? Not since I first heard this line from Han Solo it wasn’t. Priority message, sir. That’s no moon! So much for the rest of the fleet, eh?
Who’s the senior officer? Who’s in command?
I am, biatch!
Colonial One (\o/), assembling their rag-tag fleet.
What is it?
Daddy’s in command.
We’ll see about that!
And could you stop calling me Asshollo?
But it has such a nice ring to it.
Adama, not getting the joke. We’re in the middle of a war and you’re taking orders from a schoolteacher? Geez, dad, that’s Junior High all over again! Cylons to the rescue!
What are those EMP generators used for in the first place? Resume jump prep.
Chief bitchin’ about his Viper, Starbuck could care less. Not about the presumed dead though. THere is a cigar-smoke stained heart beating there, eh?
Raptor. Boomer plus kid. Nuff said. That kid is Boxey?! No. You. Won’t. Baltar hallucinating.
Galactica, CIC, The board is green. Actually it’s kind of blue-ish, no? But coming from me who still considers apricot and peach fruit and salmon fish, that probably doesn’t mean too much (it’s frakking orange, people!). And what the hell is mauve anyway? Jumping! We did it! Yay! \o/
Colonial One. We did it! Yay! \o/ And it’s been a while that I last told you how awesome I think Mary McDonnell is, right? I still do. Thank you Captain Apollo for saving our collective asses. Heh.
Galactica, making turn three, aka Bow pitch positive one half. Stern pitch negative one quarter. Bow yaw negative three quarters. Don’t get me wrong, I like that… but it should make this thing going terribly slow once they only have a good forty minutes for a storyline, no?
Everyone mourns in their own way. Be ready for some chop.
And some chop it is:
Is it me or is it hot in here?
Colonial One. Plus a Raptor! Oh this is gonna be great, Asshollo AND WhinyBoomer. Baltar and Roslin on the other hand, I think I’m gonna like that. And now shoo, Boomer, shoo.
Ragnar. Bad Shirt Callum get’s the heads up from the Chief. I mean seriously:
Do they cast him just because they know he can wear about anything and still make the fangirls squeal (admit it, you did)? WITH AN UNTRACEABLE *pause* jump system. I love it when he does that.
Colonial One. Baltar still having abandonment issues or something. Seriously, they’re making Snappyneck a regular… whatever she is now? Not that I’d mind. Speaking of which, that’s serious mind-frakking she’s doing there. And he’s way too cute for that:
Ragnar. The Olmos and Callum, too good to be true:
What’s in there? – Stuff.
And guess what, Callum’s a bad guy! Now that’s a surprise there. Arms dealer, eh? Boom goes the warhead. Not that I wouldn’t expect Callum to die, but hey, that would be quick even by his standards. Well, we’ll know more after this final
BREAK! BREAK! BREAK!